it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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