Plan B is the new Plan A
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
