I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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