Christians are straight up FREAKS
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
