If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
