While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
