my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
