yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
