yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You've changed since you got that strap on
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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