I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
