Christians are straight up FREAKS
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
