Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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