Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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