Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
