Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
