And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
