i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
