I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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