I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
