the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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