Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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