that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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