She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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