walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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