As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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