I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
