I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
