Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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