Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
