he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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