There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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