I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
