Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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