I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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