it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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