I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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