I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
