doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
