You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
