Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
