Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
