i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
