do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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