Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
