Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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