In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
