Christians are straight up FREAKS
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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