3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
