Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
