I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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