Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
