what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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