Just cropdusted the office
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
